I have two versions of myself that, if described by plants, it’s like cactus and rose. They have thorns but are given different crowns. Whilst my true nature is closer to the first. Fierce, free, and independent, though it’s just a way to protect itself.

In my case, it was my vigilance that protected me. I used to defend myself with suspicion and skepticism because trust was not on my list. Until I realized I -in the cactus mode- was very annoying.

So to survive in this society, I need to be more humanist. Then I lower my guard. I started to tell myself to trust in people and believe in kindness. But flowers need to be watered to live, and so does my rose. It needs to be treated to keep it alive. Otherwise, it will die and be replaced.

This is indeed an endless work and timeless fight as it costs me great energy and precious lives. Even so, being like a rose is the only option I have. If I want to be accepted, I must be wanted and appreciated. Just like a rose.