We were in a casual discussion when a co-worker shared about the insecurity of her only child, a 16-year-old boy. At first, our conversation revolved around the wounds of parenting and the lack of parental attention, until we arrived at a difficult question: why do adults easily condone children’s rebellious acts against norms only to seek their parents’ attention?

For context, you probably know few troublemaking kids around you—those who often skip school, drink, smoke, swear, disrespect others, or even commit self-harm. And when you look deeper,  you’ll often find the same pattern: busy parents who are too occupied to notice their child’s silent cries for attention.

I find it ironic. Because we adults understand the problem very well, but couldn’t do more about it. We tend to ignore and accept it as a dark side of modern life. And we begin to normalized child neglection. That thought alone troubled me enough to write this reflection.

She began her story by asking her son this: Have you ever had the urge to cause mischief like your friends?

To her surprise, he answered softly,

“You know what, sometimes I want to skip class too to hangout with friends, but I don’t think I deserve to do that and cause you trouble. Because I know, and everyone knows, how much you love me and how understanding you are. So sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t complain about wanting to be noticed over trivial things like my friends do.“

She didn’t expect that answer. She just listened, quietly trying to understand this side of him. Then he added,

“Sometimes I wish you could drop me off at school and wait until the bus leaves when I’m going on a school trip.”

Upon hearing the stories, I immediately said, “Finally, I found someone who feels the same way I do.”.

Back to my friend’s story, she was so startled that could only respond by saying,

“I trust you so much that I can loosen my guard. I believe you can make your own decisions responsibly and think about the consequences. Most importantly, I know you won’t waste our trust for something foolish.”

I couldn’t agree more with her words. Because since I turned 25, I can see both perspectives clearly. Since what I said has become my family’s decision.